We’ve all been there, on a date that’s so unexpectedly awkward; it feels like you’re on a job interview. You sit there, painfully self-aware, hoping you’re saying the right thing and that your answers are pleasing the other person – you want the gig after all, but then it starts to feel like maybe you’re not the right fit for your present company.
How did this happen? On paper, you should be great together. Next time, try avoiding the following first date traps, and you’ll be more likely to create a strong enough connection to warrant a second date.
1. Don’t Fire Off Questions
When you fire off questions on a first date it feels like you’re running through your checklist, rather than actually getting to know the person. He has a good job, tick. He wants kids, tick. He doesn’t live with his mother, tick.
Instead, try some light-hearted banter, it will relax you both, and the conversation won’t feel so forced.
Pick a funny story or tell an embarrassing story about yourself, it will humanise you. People feel much more at ease when you show your authentic self, warts and all.
2. Don’t Go Straight From Work
Don’t plan a date in your lunch hour or straight after work, you’ll still be in work-mode and need a couple of drinks to take the edge off. Then before you know it, you’re pissed. Not a good look on a first date.
Plan your first date, at least an hour after work finishes, that way it will give you sufficient time to wind down, before you get into date mode.
You don’t want to bring your work drama to the table, it will permeate every conversation you have and turn your date into a counselling session. And believe me, there won’t be a repeat appointment.
3. Don’t Do A Coffee Date
Coffee dates don’t work. Having a coffee date as your first date is quite possibly the worst thing you could do. Not only is a café one of the noisiest choices of venues, they are crowded, full of activity, and uptight people waiting to get their caffeine fix.
A coffee date is much like a job interview; they’re forced and they don’t give you enough time to relax and get to know each other.
You sit across from each other with a table between you, and you fire questions off to each other one by one, in a very small amount of time – and as we’ve already divulged, that doesn’t work. First dates should last 2 to 3 hours, in order to get a proper assessment of each other.
Having a meeting over coffee, not a date.
4. Turn Your Phone Off
Don’t be that guy, or girl. When you’re on a date, put your phone on silent, or on aeroplane mode. There’s nothing worse than being on a date with someone who’s constantly on their phone. It’s just darn right rude.
If you text or answer phone calls during your date, you’ll make your date feel like they’re on one with their boss.
It’s a power play; it says I’m so important that everyone wants a piece of me right now. It also says that your date is not a priority and that their time is not as important as yours – douchey move.
5. Don’t Shake Hands
Going for the handshake instead of a hug, or kiss on the cheek, is a very non-committal greeting. It’s the kind of thing you do in the boardroom to welcome a client or to seal a deal, not to say hello to a prospective lover – as it could mean farewell.
Nothing says this is a non-romantic connection more than a handshake.
When you greet your date hello or goodbye, make sure there’s a deeper physical connection than a handshake. You want the mood to be romantic, and in order to do that, you need more than a hand on hand touch.
So, the next time you ask someone or you’re asked out on a date, be sure to keep these things in mind, and you’ll make sure your date doesn’t end up in the interview zone.
And if you’d like your own professional matchmaker to go out and find one for you, try our elite Perth dating service.